Yeah, THOSE Wheatons. AKA The Best Night Ever.

Nerds

This is the final installment of our San Francisco wOOtstock story. You can read about our drive down here, and about my near-breakdown here. Have fun!

Date: Sunday, January 29, 2012.

Location: San Francisco

Setting: The living room of a spacious apartment, on an inflatable mattress.

It’s Sunday morning, and I am awake. I didn’t get to sleep until shortly after midnight, and didn’t sleep well afterwards. The inflatable mattress we had brought with us had sprung a leak sometime in the recent past, and was slowly deflating. My protesting back attested to this unpleasant fact.

Another unpleasant fact: My husband was snoring. Loudly.

I took this as my cue to get up and start getting ready for the day. I figured a good place to start would be to paint my nails, since I didn’t want to meet the Wheatons with un-manicured claws. That would never do! I settled in to my task and was half-way through when Jonathan woke up and got ready. Being the manly man he is, all he had to do was ruffle his hair and brush his teeth, and he was ready to go.

Now, you ladies know that once you start painting your nails, you are STUCK where you are until they’re dry. You can’t go to the bathroom, you can’t do your hair, you can’t do diddly squat! This can be a problem when you have an impatient husband who is hungry RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND AND WE HAVE TO LEAVE NOW!!!!

Then we went to [REDACTED CUZ IT'S BORING] Then made our way towards Chinatown.

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After locating a perilous parking spot on a ridiculous hill*, we put on our walking shoes and set off in search of cool things. If you’ve never been to Chinatown in San Francisco, I highly recommend it. There is some awesome architecture, and if you’re up to it, some excellent food. Unfortunately, having stuffed ourselves with French toast (again), we didn’t eat anything.

We wandered around Chinatown for several hours, and were lucky enough to stumble upon a Chinese New Year celebration in the streets. Tristan was drawn toward the sounds of firecrackers and drums, and we discovered two Chinese dragons marching up and down the streets, bowing and bestowing blessings on the local businesses. It was pretty cool; it’s not everyday we get to see cultural events like that.

We eventually found our way out of Chinatown, and hiked back up Sacramento St to where our car was parked. It was still early in the afternoon, so we decided to go check out the cathedral a few blocks away. I had never been in a cathedral like this before. This place was massive; soaring buttresses and stained glass everywhere. It was absolutely silent as we walked in, and only a few other tourists and some people sitting in the pews.

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Even if you’re totally anti-religious, you can admire the architectural wonder that is a cathedral. This building was only a couple hundred years old, and may not have been as intricately detailed as say, Notre Dame, but it was still awe-inspiring to walk around in it.

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Ok, ok. Let’s fast forward a couple hours, since all we did between approximately 4:00 pm and 6:00 pm was wander around.

Now it’s a little after 6, and Jonathan and I are seated at a large table at the Top of the Mark lounge. I have to give Anne props here, since she was the one who suggested it. This place was swank…fancy cocktails and “light dining”, which means when you want food, you get the fancy, itty-bitty portions that sometimes end up costing more than your car.**

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See that hotel in the background? Yeah, we were at the very top. It was so gorgeous!

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Confession time! I was beyond nervous. I was about to meet a lady who I had only spoken to on Twitter, who was married to the Nerd Emperor†, and who was friends with all of the performers we were going to watch later that evening.

I guess you could say I had ALL THE NERVES!!! I was jittery and shaky, and I kept touching my hair. Jonathan kept laughing at me, telling me to calm down. He thought I was cool, surely she would too. We were messaging back and forth on Twitter, her letting me know they were on their way, and me telling her we had a table and were just hanging out, enjoying the awesome view. THEN she tells me that Bonnie Burton is joining us as well, and I tell this to Jonathan. He is now very excited too, because Bonnie works for LucasFilm, and he is a huge Star Wars fan. I predict this evening will turn out to be awesome.

The ladies arrive, and I immediately spot Anne in her (totally cute and not Waldo-esque) red and white striped sweater. Guys…she’s gorgeous. She’s got perfect hair, a sparkly white smile, and she’s absolutely hilarious. She gives me a big hug and introduces me to Bonnie and her friend Debbie. Funny story – Debbie lives in the next town over from me, and, get this: her brother is my next door neighbour. SMALL FREAKING WORLD! I couldn’t believe it.

We get fancy drinks and finger foods, and chat about what Ryan has been up to at his new job (awesome stuff, FYI), Bonnie’s taxidermied animals, and the upcoming JoCo cruise. I present Anne with the bottle of home-made lemoncello my mom sent with me, and we all take simultaneous iPhone pics to post to Twitter. My phone battery is at 20%, so I remind myself to use it sparingly.

It’s nearly 7, so we have to rush out of the hotel and down the (crazy steep) hill to the Marines Memorial Theatre, where w00tstock is happening. We’re a loud, happy group; chatting and giggling and walking silly, because that’s what you do when it’s a steep hill and you can just about lay down backwards as you walk.

We make it to the theatre right before the show starts, and Anne instructs us to meet up with her at intermission. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I was excited! As you can expect, w00tstock was amazing. Wil, Paul & Storm, Adam Savage, Chris Hardwick and Grant Imahara had us all laughing till our sides split and we wet ourselves. Well, Jonathan and I didn’t wet ourselves, but I can’t speak for the rest of the audience.

One of my favourite parts of the show was the new song performed by P&S about George RR Martin. I hadn’t read the books yet, but I had heard so many good things about them (I have since bought them and am currently in the middle of A Clash of Kings) so this was a funny little teaser that made me want to read them even more.

Here, enjoy!

At intermission, while the other nerds were using the bathroom and buying t-shirts, Jonathan and I caught up with Anne and Bonnie and Debbie, and were escorted backstage to the green room. There we see Wil, Adam, Paul and Storm, all laughing and joking with one another. Anne introduces Jonathan and I to Wil, and he shakes our hands with a smile. Bear with me here, because my brain is fuzzy due to awesomeness and I’m terrible at writing dialogue.

Wil likes our ThinkGeek 8 Bit Life shirts†; several of the other audience members told us they liked them too. I ask Wil if he liked the custom Palomino Blackwing pencils I sent him for Christmas, and he said he did, and that he uses them a lot. I sent them to him when I sent a jar of home-made apple butter to Anne, I figured he would enjoy them when he wrote stuff, since they’re supposed to be superb at writing things. This makes sense, right?! AAAHHH.

Sorry, I was overcome with how the crap do I write this without sounding like a dingbat-itis.

ANYWAYS. The show was amazeballs. I highly recommend you go see it, if you have the chance. It’s funny, and smart, and relevant to nerd interests. After the show we got to go backstage again, and we hung out for a while, until everyone decided to go to a little bar just a few doors down. We ordered pizza and chatted with people, and Jonathan lost spectacularly to Chris Hardwick at table shuffleboard. My phone was officially dead by this point, that’s why there are no more pictures!

We hang out at the bar with the cool geeks until just after 1 in the morning, then we head home. I wake up in the morning to no fewer than 14 text messages from Jeff, and this blog post. The rest is history.

Thank you for tolerating my crazy long post. Sorry it took so bloody long to get it up :)

-A

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*So many dang hills. So many dang STEEP freaking hills. My calves and butt ached for days afterwards.
**This may be a slight exaggeration.
†AKA King of Geeks, Ruler of All Things Awesome, Supreme Mugwump of Table Games, and Dominator of Dice.
††They light up depending on how close Jonathan and I are to one another, it’s really cool.

Come with us on a magical journey!

road trip

Hey all! I’m gonna try something fun, and live blog our trip down to San Francisco. I can’t guarantee it will be interesting, and I can’t guarantee it will be real time because of stinking autocorrect. I swear, typing on the iPhone is near impossible.

road trip

Our trip so far has been likened (by my husband) to that of Harold and Kumar. Well, minus the weed and White Castle. Instead it’s homemade lemoncello and Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Side note: their new dark chocolate filled ones are un-freaking-believable. And deadly. Stay away!!

Basically, we got all the way down to Roseville to fulfil his burning need for doughnuts, and as we’re pulling out of the drive through, I realise something.

WE FORGOT THE W00TSTOCK TICKETS.

This is literally a scene out of my bad dreams. What’s even worse is that I mentally reminded myself to GRAB THE TICKETS…and I still forgot. I can’t remember what triggered my realisation there in the drive through, but I’m sure it was Anne Wheaton and her mystical influence over the universe.

I swear, she must have the same crazy “Mom Powers” my mom does. You know, the ones that enable her to know wherever her kids (or husband) are at any given time. Also typically used for mind-reading, laser stare, and the uncanny ability to know when the child is being less than truthful. I dunno about Anne, but with my mom, surprises and excuses about why we broke curfew were always figured out.

BACK TO THE TRIP!

Ok, we made it BACK home and retrieved the tickets. I also grabbed some cheese and salami, because holy crap I can already feel the sugar coursing though my veins and I will have an epic sugar crash in a couple hours. Ow.

Jonathan is stuffing another doughnut in his mouth. I think this is number four. I can tell he’s already riding the white dragon (Sugar, not crack…though they seem to produce similar effects), because he’s totally rocking out to Journey’s “Separate Ways,” fist pumping and all. He made quite the interesting mix for our trip: Europe’s “The Final Countdown”, Katy Perry’s “Firework”, various theme songs from John Williams (“John Williams is a god! I love that guy!”), and now Journey. I’m sure Lady Gaga will make an appearance soon.

Sorry, I was wrong. Now it’s “The Power of Love.” Jonathan clearly has a thing for 80s music, girly singers, and epic movie theme songs.

More later! (cue Pirates of the Caribbean theme song…)

[9:07 pm, somewhere just past Davis]
Hello again! I have a wonderful photo to share with you. This totally made my night. I present to you “A Children’s Guide to Splattered Bugs”
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That is just beautiful.

[9:52 pm, Vallejo]
We’re passing the Six Flags theme park now. It must be closed for the season, which seems strange. I thought it was open year round, but there are no lights on. Only the dim glow from the moon and the surrounding community has lit up the hulking steel coasters. It’s kind of a creepy sight.

I’m starting to feel the decline of the sugar rush, and it’s making me drowsy. I remember why I don’t eat that kind of crap anymore.

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We’re crossing a cool bridge now; I can’t see in the darkness surrounding us, but I’m pretty sure it’s the one with the decommissioned ships in the bay…in Hercules, I think? All I know is this is the stinking bridge I always forget the toll for. Tip: when you go the the Bay Area, bring LOTS of money for the tolls.

[10:07 pm, Bay Bridge toll area]
We’re stuck in traffic, waiting to cross the bridge. There are crazy people whizzing past us, and constant honking. We haven’t moved in several minutes, and there is a ridiculous lifted Chevy Impala next to us. I’d take a picture of it for you of I wasn’t so afraid of being shot.

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Welcome to San Francisco, now give us your money.

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[10:52 pm, Ocean Avenue]
Well, we made it! Granted, right now we’re sitting in the car, trying to figure out what we want to do for the next few hours. I’m slightly paranoid about leaving my car out on the street (clearly I’m used to a more suburban area), and I’m starting to get tired. I’m ready for bed, but that won’t happen unless we can figure out a way into T’s house. But for now, our journey is ended. Thanks for traveling with us, and remember to take your towel with you!

Over and out!

I solemnly swear that I am up to…something.

Well, Christmas is over, and you know what that means!

No, it doesn’t mean “EAT ALL THE CANDY!!!” Jonathan, I’m looking at you, with the giant box of See’s chocolates on your lap.

It’s New Year’s resolution time! The time of year when we make lists of goals or dreams we want to accomplish in the coming year, but end up not doing because they’re either too vague, too unrealistic, or we just plain forget about them. For me it’s usually the latter, since I have terrible memory. Some people *coughMomcough* says it’s selective memory loss, but…well, crap, she’s right.

In the past I was guilty of arbitrarily putting things on my list in the hopes of them becoming self-fulfilling prophecy; they’re on the list, so they’re just going to happen. However, that’s not how it works. You actually have to work at achieving these goals you have set, and that’s probably why my resolutions in the past years have not been very successful. This year, I’m going to keep it simple: easily attainable goals that will help me become a better person.

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So, without further ado: Alyssa’s List of Betterment!

1. Be nicer to people/Be more patient. I like to think I’m generally a nice person. Heck, it’s part of my job description! Customer service…basically, be nice to the customer. Not that tough. Wheaton’s Law sums it up perfectly: “Don’t be a dick.” My problem is that I get annoyed very easily. Jonathan can attest to this. It’s typically not a big thing that annoys me; it’s more of a series of small, inane things that pile on top of each other unto my brain goes all green and Hulk-like and yells “IDIOT SMASH!!!!” Of course, I try to keep my outward appearance calm and collected, but sometimes I slip and get a bit snarkier than I need to be. I don’t want to be like that anymore. I will make an effort to not be annoyed by stupid little things, and though it may be difficult, it will be good for me in the long run.

2. Eat less, Move more. Since this time last year, I’ve lost 30 pounds. Wait, sorry. I didn’t lose it, I got rid of it. I don’t want to find it ever again! I count that as a pretty big accomplishment, and I aim to get rid of an additional 30 pounds this coming year. I’ve already signed up for the “Get Fit” challenge at my gym, and though it’d be pretty awesome to win the 1st place prize, I’d actually prefer the 4th place prize. $250 towards a new wardrobe or a series of free personal training sessions? If you know me, you know I’m gonna pick the cash.

3. Be craftier/Write more. I’m gonna lump these two together, because they both stem from the side of my brain that isn’t often used. It’s difficult for me to create things, since I’m used to reading or admiring other people’s words and creations. I recently discovered that I too want to put something out in the world for others to enjoy, and working on this goal will allow me to do just that. I’ve gotten a lot of crafty inspiration from my friend Tifany of Inkblots by TRD, and from Jen Yates of Epbot. As for words…I’ve always been an avid reader, and my inspiration for blogging currently comes from the minds of Wil Wheaton, The Bloggess, and Jeff of “Saporito Means Tasty!” (all very fun reads, and I urge you to go check them out)

4. ????

5. Profit!

Haha, sorry. I had to. Reddit has ruined me. Maybe that’s another thing I should resolve to do: Spend less time on Reddit. Naaaahhhhhh.

So, that’s my short but easy-to-work-on list of things I want to accomplish this year. I am hoping to stay motivated by myself, but I won’t turn down some help from you, my dear readers. If you see that it’s been a while and I haven’t posted, talk some smack to me on Twitter. Alternatively, those of you who know me in real life could give me a good smack on the forehead. That should help.